{"id":175,"date":"2024-03-04T13:28:18","date_gmt":"2024-03-04T18:28:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=175"},"modified":"2026-09-08T13:28:48","modified_gmt":"2026-09-08T17:28:48","slug":"tall-girl-shadow-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=175","title":{"rendered":"Tall Girl Shadow Self"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I have never had access to poetry about the moon. I said
I was performing feminine because I wanted access
to oppression, my own corner of the margin, to use this
to explain why I am always in conflict with the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I came up to the edge and beat myself backwards
but you can only see a lie in the mirror so many times, 
           I can only see a lie in the mirror so many times,
before I get too angry to repeat it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the kind of bitch Shirley Jackson would have called \u201cdark\u201d
pale, a six foot five princess, a heterodox paradox, Girl Atlas
holding up the world for the littles underneath me,
an asinine androgyne anodyne shooting for femme
sometimes I\u2019m a pissbaby
sometimes I\u2019m a bastion of wisdom<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to destroy a girl\u2019s confidence in one innocent question:
\u201cDo you know any dance moves?\u201d
After I danced for hours.
After I looked and waited and checked my phone for them
for hours and hours. Before a reverse Socrates
(\u201cI only know that you know nothing\u201d)
welcomed me to womanhood after six months of me injecting it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

walking woman, trying to talk woman, hair woman, hairless woman
soft skin, coquette gestures, sounding woman most on my way
to orgasm, clutching sheets, pulling hair
the clothes made the woman
push my tits together and make a line
look in the mirror and see square jaw, stubble chin
look in and see nocturnal lashes, lips, forest of locks<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will move well, like a secret hero, like a secret
British big cat, smooth, exact, deploy precision stride<\/p>\n\n\n\n

so atomize me, persecute me, sentence me, force me out
look askance, look outraged, look
but don\u2019t you fucking touch<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am fat, I am a pervert, I am perverse, I am weird, mad, I love me for it
I will not go back for cisgenderism, respectability, a manhood
things I could never quite hold, never quite want. I love me radically
and you can choke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have never had access to poetry about the moon. I saidI was performing feminine because I wanted accessto oppression, my own corner of the margin, to use thisto explain why I am always in conflict with the world. Then I came up to the edge and beat myself backwardsbut you can only see a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":277085423,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[422],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/phmf02-2P","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":162,"url":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=162","url_meta":{"origin":175,"position":0},"title":"Guns and cars","author":"Moonglummer","date":"February 15, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m an American so I have an obsession with guns and cars. 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You can draw a drop of bloodwith your alcohol swab on hand and be told this has to be reportedwhile nightly cis men drink poison until they can stomach the contentsof their own heads, for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?cat=422"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":160,"url":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=160","url_meta":{"origin":175,"position":2},"title":"Firebrand","author":"Moonglummer","date":"February 13, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Tucking my dress inside my pants for anonymity, and bringing it out,\u00a0unfurled like a flag. I grab the cord connected to the megaphone.\u00a0Channeling the movement, I am a mouthpiece and a medium, spouting the message.\u00a0A girl, a symbol. I stand for rightful indignation, leftist fury, raising my voice, stepping forwardat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?cat=422"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":185,"url":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=185","url_meta":{"origin":175,"position":3},"title":"On “Ideology”","author":"Moonglummer","date":"April 21, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"The Revolution: that old chestnutI was really annoying about socialism for a year there and for that I apologize.I am all better now. I am an anarchist. &I reject labels & wearing the blinders of a worldview of politicsat the expense of also spirituality, philosophy, humanism, humanitybeing its weird and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?cat=422"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":156,"url":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=156","url_meta":{"origin":175,"position":4},"title":"Dead End","author":"Moonglummer","date":"February 5, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Disappearing into the woods never to be seen againdoesn't work: I have to be wherever I end up.","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?cat=422"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":150,"url":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?p=150","url_meta":{"origin":175,"position":5},"title":"The Big Rebrand","author":"Moonglummer","date":"January 25, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Going forward, this blog is Moonglum Media, not Moonglum Games, because I will be posting my political writing, fiction, poetry, and occasional other stuff all in the same place. I bought a custom domain to commemorate this! That's all.","rel":"","context":"In "Updates"","block_context":{"text":"Updates","link":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/?cat=1171"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/175","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/277085423"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=175"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/175\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":176,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/175\/revisions\/176"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=175"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=175"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moonglummedia.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=175"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}